Yo Little Belly,
I mean to tell you about a conversation I had with top neurosurgeon Nancy Bintner right outside your ICU room a week after your accident. I was meeting her for the first time (your mother previously had met) and she said they sometimes need a week of observation to evaluate a patient and they had and your brain was hamburger and they would change to a long term sedative (paralyzer some called it) and to expect a long stay in ICU.
"What!!" said I, "Dr Link said from the catscans the damage was not too bad and there was a good likelihood of nearly full recovery."
"By not too bad, " Nancy answered "he means we have not had to cut his skull open."
"So" said I, "he will never get out of here relatively intact."
"Oh he might" she replied, "we just don't know."
I said "I would like to see him get out of here relatively intact but have modicum of fear when he gets near a snow or skateboard."
"Oh he won't" Nancy said "he is hardwired into it."
Good grief I have thought since then what is the point of our sojourn on earth if we can't change through experience. I also drift as I have over the decades to Krishna at the end of the Bhagavad Gita* telling Arjuna that
"you yourself have created the power that binds you and are helpless in its power And you will do the very thing which your ignorance seeks to avoid. The Lord lives in the heart of every creature and turns them round and round upon the wheel of his maya. Take refuge utterly in him. By his grace you will find supreme peace and the state which is beyond all change."
Those thoughts have solaced and guided many out of prehistory, mean anything to you?? You remember way back on long trecks in my 57 Chevy we would sing:
"Oh Lord you are the treasure of my soul,
you are the dweller in my house, oh Lord,
you are to me what wings are to the flying bird."
love pops
* Prabhavananda-Isherwood translation
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3 comments:
Big John Here,
Anothying to venture your meaning you caused be seen by me as the meaning of you. By me comes the real you so if your young for me love seeing it I stay young! I really don't want to stop riding but for a year i'll think of it. For you I got to ride so let me out to Colorado if January is good time for thru March cause Ridin' High reopens in April. Really like having you here for me as much as I want to get out of here early Jared and Al's wedding only lets me out four days early. His wedding has a lot for me so if I can get me out four days early. Really wanted to go to Sheehan party last night and his Birthday on Wednesday has me linked to the guy! Talk to real soon as you come up for me Wednesday.
John
I would just like to say that from the very beginning people have been trying to predict how this recovery was going to go. As far as i can tell everyone (doctor's espescially) have grossly underestimated your resolve. I cannot believe how fast you have come back, it really is a testament to what a strong person you are. Keep it up, you have a long way to go until we are back at the a. mines harvesting snow like it was corn. Don't set any limits for yourself John, the human brain is an amazing thing and only you can control your destiny! It all rests on how hard you work during your recovery. If you could have only seen yourself just a few short weeks ago you would see the amazing changes you have made. I would like you to look in the latest issue of Powder magazine (probably on line as well). There is an article about C.R. Johnson (pro skier) who sustained a head injury (on a groomed run, no less). His recovery is similar to yours in many ways. He was skiing exactly one year from his head trauma! Obviously he has to take extra precautions, as will you, but the end result is the same. He is back doing what he loves! I think he said it best " Ever forward, Never backward." Sort of sums it up, don't you think. Also just wanted to thank Rachel, Will and Merideth for being the driving force behind keeping Ridin High open for business. They all really ran themselves ragged to make sure that you had something to come back to. Same goes for the rest of the fam. and all the friends that pitched in time and money to help out. A person's friend's say a lot about them, and I have never seen people respond so quickly. We love you John, ( I am not gay or anything, not that there is anything wrong with that ha,ha) See you soon
John Stafford
Wishing I could visit more now that John is awake but I can still talk to him daily. John Stafford I thank you for the credit. I can only now begin to tell John what the shop summer was like for me. I thank all the shop employees for their efforts, especially Will D and Meredith. We would not have succeded without a team effort. John S, Dave, and Sheehan your support was instrumental to me in directing the shop. A task I never imagined became more manageable by kind support from John's friends. I am warmed every time I think of all the love and kindness John's friends showed me during my five weeks in Burlington. I can't wait to share all of the good memories with John. Our love is reflected back through the miracles in life and John's recovery is a true reflection of the love he sends out daily.
Thank you, everyone of you, who touched my life during these challenging times. I have found my life blessed by this experience. I have come to know my brother through the perceptions of his friends and as a result my relationship and understanding of him has changed for the better.
wishing you all the best!
Rachel
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